On Literary Agents and the Allure of Being Chosen

“After all that is bewitching in the idea of one’s happiness depending entirely on one person, it is not always possible.”

We are almost exactly 1 year since I started sending my children’s novel out to literary agents.

The short story is, I have had no takers. For anyone interested in the nitty-gritty, I pitched 15 agents total - there are not many agents in the UK who accept middle grade or YA. I received 6 responses, most of them a standard response email. The last one had some personalisation but was still ultimately a ‘not for us right now’ answer. The rest are what I call the ‘silent no’ - something that I’m very familiar with as a freelance journalist.

It’s hard to tell how I feel about this, which is why I haven’t really written about it yet. On one hand, of course I’m somewhat sad about no one even asking to see the full manuscript. Notwithstanding my first three chapters being junk (which I’m fairly confident they aren’t) I do have some ideas about why that might be.

On one hand, it’s statistics: it is so much easier to pitch agents now than it used to be last time I was on this journey. No one needs to print anything, nor stand in a queue at the post office. It costs nothing and is even relatively quick to do, compared to the postal process. That means agents get hundreds of pitches a day.

Because of that, there is huge supply and it’s harder to stand out. Although I know very well how to pitch an article, I’m not at all as fluent in pitching novels. So that can’t have worked in my favour. Equally, if you were an agent being snowed under by submissions, would you pick something with a clear commercial hook or something softer? With my editor hat on obviously I’d go with the easy wins. There simply isn’t time in the day not to.

The other problem I’ve considered is that perhaps my novel is hard to place on a shelf. It’s middle grade, but probably sitting at the older end of middle grade. (I would have read it at age 8 so my judgement here is perhaps skewed.) But I wouldn’t call it YA because the protagonists are 12 years old and it doesn’t have any of the teenage grump that seems to permeate through YA books. That said, Lemony Snicket’s books are often shelved in teenage and it’s much bigger than the earlier SoUE books. If it was a film it would probably be rated at 12 not PG. I’d put it alongside the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage: big but friendly with lots of characters and deeper themes if you want to look deeper.

Anyway, all that to say I doubt it works in my favour. I reckon it is a commercial book, but it’s probably less easy for an agent to clearly state that than many other submissions.

On the flip side to all that, part of me is perversely glad that I didn’t get any positive responses. I spent the vast amount of 2024 working on, finishing up and submitting a non-fiction book to a small traditional publisher. We signed the contract over 2 years ago now and the book will be coming out in April 2025.

If I have learnt anything from this process, it’s that I am not at all cut out for traditional publishing. I care too much. I have very high standards about things with my name on the front cover and, although I will give an inch I won’t give a mile. I am particular. In some instances I do feel pretty justified in my notes/objections. It’s a guidebook and a change in wording during the edit can accidentally change a meaning that makes the sentence factually incorrect. But that has meant so much back and forth on everything from words to covers.

It’s been hugely stressful having to fit all this writing, editing and revisions (including maps, profiles, photography admin) into my life without any remuneration in advance. And although I know some of the staff personally and respect the publishing company, I’ve found myself questioning what exactly I’m getting out of the deal. (I guess we’ll find out in April.)

That is undoubtedly because I come from a magazine and self-publishing background. I know what I want and I know how to do it myself. Heck, I’ve done it myself once. And unlike the collaborative, quick environment of working on print magazines, traditional publishing moves like a glacier. (With no small amount of irony in that metaphor relating to climate change…)

So I find myself torn.

Was it a blessing in disguise that I didn’t manage to get an agent? Or am I just covering up for the disappointment of not being chosen? As I was considering this over the past months, I was reminded of the scene in Sense and Sensibility (1995) where Elinor Dashwood can finally admit to her sister that all her hopes have been broken. She says sadly, “After all that is bewitching in the idea of one’s happiness depending entirely on one person, it is not always possible.”

“Always prudence, honour and duty,” says her sister - Elinor is the mind and Marianne is the heart in this story. “Elinor, where is your heart?”

So I have asked myself: where is my heart? What is it that I truly want from all this? Why do I want to publish my novels at all? Why do I even want an agent and the traditional path?

And I guess the answer is that I wanted to pick up on the thread I dropped in 2009. I want the golden light of that 90s to 2000s era debut children’s author experience. But the truth is that doesn’t exist any more, because the industry has moved on. The world is different and the moment has passed. My heart wants what I cannot have and so I must be content to think nostalgically of the time I spent in an office in Covent Garden when the future looked bright.

But what does my heart want right now? Honestly, to be able to pay my bills without stress. To be free to write books I care about and publish them to a high standard that fits the vision I have for them. And that sounds to me like doing a lot myself (or hiring talented freelancers under my direction) because then I have control over the finished output. And although I’m deeply aware of the financial reality for many writers, I do think that I value a small number of very quality books over the mass market race to the bottom. I’d also like to be able to physically ship those books myself if I can find a way to store them damp free!

So, all that remains is to act. I’m going to redo my current self published book to bring it up to the standard I require. I’m going to look for independent printers to work with and try to work out how in heck to sell children’s fiction. I’ve worked in marketing for many years, so I should be able to work it out, but it’s weirdly not quite direct to consumer. And perhaps in time there will be many beautiful books with my name on :)

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